Unseen Academicals

Terry Pratchett

Fantasy, Comedy

Doubleday 20009

Reviewer: Bob Estreich

One of the little pleasures of Christmas each year is the new book from British writer Terry Pratchett. His Discworld series has been a favourite for many years. This year it is football’s turn to receive the Pratchett treatment (and that’s Soccer, real football, not rugby). He manages to tackle soccer hooligans, the rules of the game, heroes, and he even takes a passing swipe at ladies fashions.

The story is that Unseen University is largely funded by a bequest from a benefactor on condition that at least once every twenty years the University must participate in a football match. Ankh-Morepork football matches are more like bloody wars fought out between the teams and spectators from rival parts of town. The brawls have been getting more savage and people are starting to complain about the bloodshed. The Patrician, Lord Vetinari, is being pressured to Do Something About It. Although he disapproves of football generally and would rather ban the matches, this will cause civic insurrection in the city. He turns to the wizards of Unseen University to introduce a new form of football with teams, rules, and less bloodshed. There will definitely be no magic used – just athletic skill.

If you are a Pratchett fan you will know that “athletic” is not a word normally used in the same sentence as “wizard”. The wizards however have the incentive to form a team. The bequest pays for 87 per cent of the wizards’ massive food budget. “Food” and “Wizard” are two words that are naturally complementary. The University also has young Trev whose father was a football hero until he was killed during a match. Trev could be a brilliant footballer but has promised his Mum he would never take up the game. The University also has Mr Nutt, a rather shy and peculiar young man in the candle-dribbling department. He is a brilliant tactician, having spent some of his youth reading every book he could get his hands on. He spent the rest of his youth chained to an anvil.

“Employing professional (candle) dribblers might seem extravagant for a body like Unseen University. ……No traditional wizard worth his pointy hat could possibly work by the light of pure, smooth, dare one say virgin undribbled candles. It just would not look right.”

Against them is a team comprising the best players from the various town teams, and the most vicious thugs and hooligans that Ankh-Morepork can produce. Since Vetinari is sponsoring the new football match, even his future may depend on it all working. Will Trev finally forgo his promise to his Mum? Will his new Dwarf MicroMail shorts protect him? Can Mr Nutt resist twisting heads off the opposition players when he finds out what he really is? Will the crowd accept the new football or will they go back to riots and bloodshed?

“The thing about football – the important thing about football – is that it is not just about football. “

If I have one negative comment about the book, it is the absence of the most regular character in the Discworld series. For the first time Death does not put in an appearance and I missed him. It’s certainly not for lack of opportunities. The book is classic Pratchett, darkly funny, close examination of human behaviour, and just a little common sense and love interest.

Reviews appear on the Synergy website with a single cover image. In the digital and print edition, reviews appear with multiple images and with expanded content. We recommend you download the free digital edition (or buy the print edition) to get the most from Synergy Magazine.

This review will appear in Volume 2 No.6 (2009) of the digital and print edition of Synergy Magazine.

If you came to this page directly (and missed our menu), click here to go to the front page of Synergy Magazine Website or use the following link: http://www.synergy-magazine.com