Synergy Magazine

Splodge the Hedgehog

Roadkill Plush Toys

Splodge is a common-all-garden hedgehog, Erinaceus Europaeus. He was born near Watford, in Hertfordshire, to Nigel and Sally Hedgehog. He was educated at Herts College, where he took an NVQ in joinery.

Splodge was very popular in the hedgerows of Hertfordshire, and he will be sorely missed by his next of kin, Pop the Weasel. He met his untimely end at the wheels of Jensen Button’s Formula 1 Honda, on a warm-up lap at Silverstone racetrack.

Splodge the Hedgehog has been released by Roadkill Toys in a first run of only 500 limited edition toys. Each one will have a special toe tag handwritten by the designer, and will have a limited edition number on the tag. Each one will be different - some are flattened on the M25, some on the B43. Some are squished by combine harvesters, and some by kebab vans. Only the first 500 have these, so don’t hang around sitting on your stools. (And you better buy one, because the poor designer now has Repetitive Strain Injury and has to pay his medical bills).

Starting with Splodge the Hedgehog, Roadkill are also including Death Certificates and Bumper Stickers in each package. Every item will have their own blood-stained death certificate, signed by a doctor, and will also come with an ‘I love Roadkill’ bumper sticker.

Splodge’s body is stuffed with a mixture of beads and stuffing. The beads give the Squash-plush teddy a bit of extra weight, so he can lie spread-eagled in his blood and gut-pool. The blood and guts and gore are made using the latest, cutting edge stuffing. It’s a special new micro-bead stuffing that gives the guts and organs a more malleable, tactile effect. It makes it more squidgy. More gross-out. You can disembowel Splodge by pulling the blood and innards through the zips that line both sides of the teddy carcass.

The underbody and legs and head are made from specially sourced Squash-plush material. It’s a really good quality Korean fur, and it gives the teddy a convincingly mangy pelt. The plush for the spikes is also specially sourced. It gives a spikey, but soft quality. The Gut-plush, as we like to call it, is a stretchy thin material that squidges and bulges under your fingers. If you’ve ever squidged a Japanese Barbapapa plush toy, then you’ll know what we mean. And the claws that protrude from each of his four grasping paws are made of felt.

His left eye is plastic. The right hand one is closed and hooded by plush eyelids. His nose is also plastic. Streaked across his face and right front paw there’s a tyre print painted on. The effect gives quite a realistic tyre residue. Flip him over and on his underbelly there’s an embroidered red blood splat. In the middle of this blood splat, there are a couple of embroidered organs. From what we know about Hedgehog anatomy, it looks like a pancreas and a bladder. And all of his features are fully safety compliant.

He measures a statuesque 23 cms from nose to tail, and 21 cms from outstretched paw to paw. And in the middle he flattens out to 13 cms high with the blood and guts stuffed in, and 11 cms high with them out. At 300 grams he’s slightly overweight for a hedgehog. This is due to his unhealthy obsession with bread and milk.

The teddy bodybag is made from an translucent plastic so you can see the gore inside. It has a white zipper down the middle. And it’s 27 cms long by 20 wide. With a bit of prodding and pounding, it just allows enough space for a run over hedgehog.

The toe tag is made out of recycled brown card. It’s attached to the toe with string. And there’s even a sew-in instruction label that’s crusted with blood and gore.

Splodge is the latest plush toy from Roadkill Toys and is a macabre joy ! It is so utterly realistic it is astounding, its pelt is so lush and lifelike it makes you cringe with delight. It is beautifully designed with a obvious eye for detail, with such extras as death certificate, tags, body bag etc. It is a true collectible and would be the ultimate Xmas gift !