Synergy Magazine

Cinematic Titanic

R0 NTSC DVD

Web: http://www.cinematictitanic.com

Cinematic Titanic is the new feature-length movie riffing show from the creator and original cast of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Like MST3K, the show was created by Joel Hodgson and features the same team that first brought the Peabody award winning cult-classic series to life: Trace Beaulieu (Crow, Dr. Forrester), J. Elvis Weinstein (Tom Servo, Dr. Erhardt), Frank Conniff (TV’s Frank), and Mary Jo Pehl (Pearl Forrester), Cinematic Titanic continues the tradition of riffing on ‘the unfathomable’, ‘the horribly great’, and the just plain ‘cheesy’ movies from the past.

Founded in late 2007, Cinematic Titanic is an artist funded, owned, and operated venture. With a combination of new shows on DVD every 6-8 weeks and an ever-growing schedule of live shows, the crew hopes to reconnect with old fans around the world as well as bringing new fans to the comedy art form they first brought to Television 20 years ago.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is a film that just dares to be ridiculed. Inane, stupid and cheesy – it is the ultimate piece of mind rotting family entertainment. While it would be fair to say that the original was without much redeeming value, even if you were very drunk, the Cinematic Titanic version takes the film and twists it into something that is humorous and entertaining.

Riffing is a strange comedy art and can be uneven, the humour only really works if the movie provides the “handles” to hang the joke, accordingly a film such as this while fun and witty can drag a little in places. I certainly enjoyed the wit and snide humour but wasn’t sure it was enough to sustain me right through the film. There were periods when the team really got into their stride and the jokes flowed quick and fast, at other times it seemed rather strained.

The children of Mars are depressed, and nothing on the red planet seems to be able to cheer them up. They are forced to grow up very young and constantly study; they have no toys and spend their spare time watching earth TV. As the parents of Mars become concerned, King Kimar consults an 800 year old oracle who pinpoints the problem – it is Christmas and Martian kids don’t get no toys ! The solution: kidnap Santa Claus from Earth and bring him to their planet to make toys for their listless little green kids.

As they land on earth, two earth children give them the location of Santa Claus’ lair in the North Pole and end up being kidnapped along with Santa himself. Along the way King Kimar must battle against an evil adversary who wants to keep Mars as a planet of war and Dropo, the comedy interest in the movie, whose D grade comedy slapstick is enough to drive any viewer certifiably insane. This is not to mention a large polar bear who looks like a plush toy and a robotic warrior who Santa Claus charms into being a toy !

Of course (sadly) all turns out well with Santa and the kids back on earth and Mars with its own Santa, who it is I won’t tell as I wouldn’t want to destroy the intriguing and action packed climax when the baddies are trashed and Christmas prevails !

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians has a woeful plot, dreadful special effects and acting so bad you will cringe. It is for this reason that Cinematic Titanic decided to make the most of this treasure and offer it as the ultimate Xmas movie riffed title.

This review will appear in Volume 2:1 (2009) of the digital and print edition of Synergy Magazine.

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