Jesus Dress Up

Jesus Dress Up

Normal Bob Smith

There is a lovely old Zen Buddhist proverb which goes “If you see Buddha on the road, Kill Him !”. It certainly sounds unusual for a Buddhist to be advocating killing the Buddha and yet it hides a simple truth – idols are for breaking, sacred cows are for slaughtering.

Blasphemy can be an art form which it ridicules things that are held sacred and makes us think as well as entertaining us along the way. Normal Bob Smith has created some truly amazing products and a very impressive website. At the Normal Bob Website http://www.normalbobsmith.com/ you can explore all manner of strangeness including some great free games including Jesus Dress Up, Jesus Darts, Nun Treasure Hunt and more. There are also comics, news and some fun fan and hate mail.

The most exciting and outrageous thing Normal Bob has released is the Jesus Dress Up range (http://www.jesusdressup.com), these are seriously cool. You can play with them online, dressing Jesus in all manner of outfits from Satanic and Goth to BDSM, KKK to Hitler, Gacy’s Clown gear to Marilyn Manson. When you want to go a step further (and c’mon who doesn’t ?), you can buy them as fridge magnets. Yep, offend all your Christian friends with these buggers. Hell, next time the Mormons or Jehovah’s Witnesses come to visit, invite them in for a drink and make sure they see your fridge !!

There are now six sets in the range – the original, Final Justice, Superstar, Christmas and BDSM. Of course these have brought out all the fundie puritan nutters such as the American Family Association and even the news channels in the United States have been reporting on them, so they are definitely causing a stir !

They are skilfully made and are very high quality, each has a wonderfully perverse sense of humour and your fridge can change its look six times a year ! They are 11" x 8" in size and include a Jesus on a cross in his undies whom you can dress with all the supplied magnet accessories !

Let’s look at a few of them, the original Jesus Dress up has an emphasis on fun and includes everything from leather to a Satan outfit, a ballerina skirt to a hula hula skirt, rabbit slippers to a snorkel, it is actually quite cute.

The Halloween Jesus Dress up is another item which is actually rather fun.

You can dress the King of Kings as an ape, wizard, skeleton, prisoner, pirate (with his own parrot) or playboy bunny. You can even give him all sorts of strange headgear from Viking horns, an arrow through the head or a Groucho Marx eyes and mo to a multicoloured fro !

Final Justice is definitely more hardcore. You can crucify all manner of enemies by dressing Jesus to look like them. Crucifixion for your enemies or blasphemy, who cares !

The outfits are very wild from Hitler to Gacy, Charles Manson to Marilyn Manson (with a corset), Freddie from Nightmare on Elm Street with a glove to that guy in the hockey mask, Osama Bin Laden to a Teletubbie. You can dress him in a KKK outfit with racist drag, a NAMBLA boy love T-Shirt or a flesh eating “Silence of the Lambs” mask.

My favourite is the Jesus Dress Up DBSM, it is ever so sexy.

Haven’t you fantasized about the sex life of the savior ? Well now is your chance to explore all the fetishes the Lord has to offer and after all these years surely he would know quite a few..

Nurse outfits, latex, suspenders,a blow up doll mask, a pig mask and lots more, you can even dress Jesus as a baby with a messy baby bib.

Every sort of kink is catered for her in superb style and your fridge will never, ever look the same again !

Of course he needs a new sign doesn’t he ? The old INRI doesn’t seem to fit bondage Jesus, so “No Pain, No Gain” is the way to go and it looks so good on top of that damn cross.

These are witty, fun, offensive, blasphemous, sexy and delightful, everything I need to make my day amusing. Each morning you can laugh to yourself as you dress Jesus for a new day. This is a must have accessory for the modern post theistic lifestyle !

This review will appear in Volume 2 No.2 (2009) of the digital and print edition of Synergy Magazine.

If you came to this page directly (and missed our menu), click here to go to the Synergy Magazine front page. (http://www.synergy-magazine.com)