The Hostess Also Likes to Blow The Horn

2009

Sinful Mermaid

R1 DVD

This rather confused film is around forty years old. It is based on a German folk tale, was shot with a German soundtrack using German and Italian actors, then overdubbed by the Italians into English.

The story is fairly straightforward but contains all the elements for a good farcical comedy. It is post-Napoleonic Europe and bands of unemployed soldiers are terrorising the countryside. A pair of actors, Ferdinand and Justine, flee to the little country of Tursa which is supposed to be ore peaceful. Tursa, however, is now in the hands of an evil beer baron who has pretensions of royalty. He will achieve his wish by raising one million tulari to buy the title, and must also marry someone of royal blood. He must also show that he is improving the moral decency of the town. There is a chaste but impoverished Princess lined up and he is raising the money by taxing anything involving pleasure in Tursa – beer, sex, singing, anything to raise the money.

Not knowing this, Justine and Ferdinand buy the local inn (the previous owner went bankrupt from being overtaxed). They immediately fall foul of the local Decency Committee in the form of a spinster who likes to watch what’s going on through her window. Fining people for sexual misconduct is another source of income. Justine and Ferdinand claim they are married to avoid being fined, but they can see that they must come up with a disguise for the inn if they are to recoup their money. The inn is remodelled as a monastery and convent where the townspeople may go to pray and “repent their sins”. The penance sessions will get them into trouble if they are caught. The sign of a visit from the Police or the Decency Committee will be Justine blowing a horn.

The would-be Count soon notices he is making no tax money from the one-time inn and investigates and Justine and Ferdinand are o the verge of being arrested.

There is also a true Count of Tursa wandering around (played by veteran Italian actor, Glenn Saxson). He decides he must take back his inheritance before the Baron officially becomes the new Count. There is a subplot involving the Princess being kidnapped and her place being taken by Justine, another involving Ferdinand being castrated for his sexual misdeeds and so on. There is a lot of gratuitous nudity, some near-rape scenes, and all the usual fornication you would expect of a bawdy folk tale.

Of course it will all be sorted out in the end (and that takes a bit of doing). The baddies get their just desserts, the goodies get married or whatever, and the Rightful Heir is installed on the throne.

It’s not great cinema but it is still funny enough. I sat all the way through it without any ill effects and got a good laugh every now and then. It’s not as good as Jaws but certainly more entertaining than Picnic At Hanging Rock. Put the kids to bed then sit back and enjoy it.

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