Faces of Schlock

Boobs and Blood Edition

Freak Productions / Independent Entertainment

Alternative Cinema

R1 DVD

Schlock: an English word of Yiddish origin meaning "something cheap, shoddy, or inferior” – Wikipedia.

Yep, that’s this DVD. It’s feast of bad comedy, dreadful scripts, unlikely plots and, of course, blood and boobs. It features a murderous Santa, a homicidal foot, an ancient killer ghost and lots of blood and boobs. It is presented as a sort of 1980s TV show, with a group of “the most horrifying schlock ever made” presented by “sexy horror host” Slutpira. Her introductions to the films and her comments to the director are hilarious and warn you that these people are not really serious about what they are doing. There is even a gratuitous boobs out shower scene.

The stories are perfect for this sort of presentation

Blood Witch: a girl summons a 17th century ghost to kill her landlady. She enjoys the power and sends the ghost off on a killing spree with lots of blood and boobs in between lesbian scenes. But what happens when she gets tired of the ghost?

Mike Wuz Here: A seedy theatre is haunted by Mike’s ghost. All the staff know him and mostly treat him with contempt. He possesses the body of the new manager and gets his revenge. Lots of blood, not many boobs.

“You’ve killed everyone ! Do you know what that means? I’ll have to work EVERY DAY next week! “

One Foot in the Grave: A girl loses her foot to a serious fungal infection caused by an incompetent Doctor Scholl. He has a large repertoire of dreadful foot puns. The best doctors, including Doc Martens and Doctor Who, can’t reattach her foot. A local witch needs a virgin’s foot for an immortality potion she is making. She enchants the foot which goes off into a killing spree. Lots of blood and boobs.

Slay Ride: A rough teenage girl is left at home by her parents over Christmas. She is in trouble at school for decapitating the school Santa and spraying “Jesus was a black lesbian” on the wall. Her father is “not sure this is technically accurate”. She sulks at home with nothing to do, but when a homicidal maniac strikes she is saved by Santa and a sharpened Christmas throwing star. Lots of blood and boobs.

I think you’ve got the idea by now. This DVD is not meant to be serious viewing. If it’s true horror you are after, try another film. This one is just hilarious (or should that be hilariously bad?). It absolutely lives up to its name.

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