R1 DVD
Liberation
Entertainment
We have seen lots of strange creatures
through our exploration of the “Creature Feature” genre but the fiend in this
film is a true beauty. Yes, boys and girls, in the words of Bazza McKenzie it
is “the one eyed trouser snake” and not any old appendage, but the well worn 9
¾ inch love monster of Ron Jeremy, star of way too many porn films to list.
Jeremy is matched with Veronica Hart,
another porn star veteran as well as adult cinema actress Carmen Hart. It is also
amusing to note that Charles Napier who plays Mohtz, the Vietnam vet,
originally appeared in early Russ Meyer films such as Supervixions. The other
more “mainstream” actors and actresses also do a superb job and the film is
marked by excellent performances all round.
Together they create a hilarious send up
of porn films, the adult movie industry, horror movies and of course monster
films. There are references to every possible creature film from Aliens to
Jaws, Tremors to The Thing.
A small team set out to a snow topped
mountain location to make a “fuck” film. This is how Jeremy sees it, he bemoans
the days when porn films had plots, the stars were respected and he could suck
his own penis. But alas there are bills to play and he drags his sorry arse to
another straight to DVD shoot to make some bucks.
The team are comprised of a young porn
film director making his first film and who has little consideration for anyone
but himself. A couple of old hands
(Jeremy and Hart) and some young stars including a couple of “hung” young
gentlemen and, of course, cute frivolous girls. The girls spend quite some time
limbering up and learning their, umm, lines…
As they arrive the satire begins in
earnest as first time director Adam Fields allows Jeremy to ridicule the
pretensions of the modern adult film industry, the triviality of youth and a
lot else besides. The plot is superbly laced with puns, double-entendre and
witty dialogue. It is especially effective as clearly Jeremy knows the porn
industry from the inside out and is able to ridicule its pretensions, and
indeed himself, in a uniquely amusing yet at times honest and self deprecating
manner.
Jeremy finds himself unable to perform in
the first scene with Hart. Who incidentally has nudged her way into the film by
showing what she can do with her vaginal muscles, proving that experience is
far more valuable than youth. As he relaxes outside a light from the night sky
knocks him off his feet. When he returns to the set he performs way beyond his
usual standard, has a seizure and then dies. There is one problem, however, his
penis is missing! When they check the footage they are able to clearly see that
his penis literally detached itself and slithered away !
It seems his penis has been “possessed” by
an alien who wishes to impregnate as many orifices as possible and is now
rampaging through the crew. It does not seem to be an especially choosy
appendage and all manner of mayhem occurs as it penetrates everything it comes
across.
There are some extra-ordinarily funny and
perverse scenes in One Eyed Monster from the ultimate “head job” where the
penis literally burrows through Angel’s head to the scene in which the dick
talks through T.J’s arsehole. One of the most outrageous “serious” scenes is
where Mohtz, the Vet, describes how one of these aliens landed in Vietnam and
anally raped and killed his whole platoon – truly unbelievable !
The balance of comedy, horror and sex
humour is immensely successful. Jeremy is an absolute gem, even though he is
killed off early and his penis becomes the star of the show. While the film is
clearly a comedy, it also offers a damn good dose of suspense and horror and
the killer prosthetic is a joy to behold.
This is truly the ultimate
“creature-feature”.
This review will appear in Volume 2 No.3
(2009) of the digital and print edition of Synergy Magazine.
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