Mega Shark versus Crocosaurus

The Asylum / Peacock Films

R4 DVD

Bigger than Bambi Meets Godzilla ! From the people who brought you the greatest of monster movies, Mega Shark meets Giant Octopus and Mega Piranha, comes the newest monster thriller - Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus !

From the first I must say that this is a film that didn’t need to be made. It is pure schlock, either tongue in cheek or very, very bad. Some bad films are so bad, though, that their defects make them hilarious. This is definitely one such film. It is full of unlikely plots, dodgy science, bad CGI and incredible coincidences.

Basically the plot involves the giant shark from Mega Shark Meets Giant Octopus being alive and well. It is attracted to a U.S. Navy warship where a scientist is experimenting with sound frequencies to repel sharks. It doesn’t work, but we see shark fins four stories high, a shark able to destroy gun turrets on a battleship, and a remarkable scene where the shark jumps over the battleship. It’s reminiscent of the house-size jumping piranhas in Mega Piranha.

Meanwhile, at an illegal diamond mine in Africa, the miners have disturbed the Crocosaurus, a 1500-foot-long prehistoric survivor. Now that it’s awake it wants to feed. A hunter captures it using tranquilliser darts (how much tranquilliser does it take to knock out a quarter-mile-long reptile?) and he ships it off to the U.S. Naturally it escapes and in its search for food it tries to eat the Mega Shark eggs. Protective mummy Mega Shark takes exception to this and the battle is on. The navy, who would have been better off staying right out of it, tries to kill them both with nuclear torpedoes and bombs. Mega Shark eats a sub in retaliation.

“…the shark’s just gone nuclear..”

In no time at all they are all off the coast of Hawaii where a convenient volcanic rift in the earth’s crust is opened just a few hundred metres offshore, swallowing both animals. We can be sure that they will return.

I knew what to expect from the earlier films in the series and I wasn’t disappointed. It is great viewing and will have you rolling in the aisles. It just shows what you can do with enough money and no qualms about schlock.

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