Europe at 2.4 km/h

Ken Haley

Wakefield Press (2011)

It is hard to classify this book. It is part history, part geography, and a lot about the people of Europe and their attitudes to Europeanisation. It also covers a lot of the jealousies and differences of the European countries and sometimes Ken is able to trace how those jealousies developed.

He has plenty of time to study the people since he is wheelchair-bound. One of the biggest differences between countries is how they treat disabled people. Many times he was helped by friendly people in the face of official indifference, if not downright rudeness. Many of those who helped him were not “European” but part of the flood of refuges and immigrants from trouble spots around the world. The difficulty of propelling a wheelchair through Europe is a constant theme. For instance the Swedish railways require 36 hours notice for wheelchair travellers so they can get a ramp delivered.. Even when Ken was helped onto a Russian train by friendly locals his wheelchair would not fit down the aisle so he had to spend the night sitting in his wheelchair in the draughty vestibule. A conductor a little less officious than most at least found him a blanket.

Why would a supposedly rational man, in a wheelchair, choose to cross Europe the hard way – from north to south? We never quite find out but I suspect from Ken’s writings that there is a bit of pride involved and a deep interest in what makes people tick in different countries.

Some countries live up to their stereotypes – the Germans are efficient, the French ARE generally rude and the Spanish are so inward looking to the olden days of Spanish glory that the EEC seems to have passed them by. Ken makes a practice of asking what people think of their neighbours in the adjacent country. The answers are enlightening if not always complimentary.

The snippets of history he gives go a long way to explaining the differences. Royalty, religion (and religious persecution) and industry all played their part in the way the countries developed. “How could you have a conversation in Norway without mentioning fish?”

As Ken trundles through Europe we get glimpses of his wry and often penetrating sense of humour. The European approach to English is, shall we say, original. On the last night on board a tourist ship “a crew member said to one of the diners “I hope you will enjoy your last meal””. He spent a night with a friendly couple who turned out to be retired professional thieves, and made a special detour to a town called Hell so his passport can now show that he has been to Hell and back. Such little memories lift the book well above travelogue status.

Some things you probably needed to know:

Sweden has its own Loch Ness monster, Storsjudejuret.

Any desire to help its passengers is bred out of its staff early (Swedish Railways)

The Dutch have a museum dedicated to marijuana.

Their railways – porters who won’t carry, a Help Desk that gives you a phone number to ring – for help.

Even the Germans use “typical German” as a swearword

The French railways don’t wish a passenger “Bon Voyage” on their tickets – they wish their passengers “Good Luck” instead.

Be careful of the monkey droppings as you climb the stairs on the Rock of Gibraltar on your hands and bum because there is no wheelchair access.

Staying within his limited budget was always a problem for Ken but often kind people would put him up free for the night in their own homes. Moving around in his wheelchair was likewise a problem, and once again kind people helped him out of trouble.

So at the end of it all, 25,000 km later, how have the Europeans adapted to their new multinational character? Ken’s experiences suggest that they haven’t and probably won’t. There are still the same old jealousies and suspicions. To most people they are still French or Spanish or Danes. Most couldn’t care about the EEC one way or another. They leave that to the politicians. The people themselves however, not their railways, usually define a wonderful group of individuals.

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